My short story deadline was technically November 30th but the publisher holding the contest has a one-week grace period so I, of course, procrastinated.
I stayed up very late on Sunday night and edited until I couldn't see anymore but neither story was ready so, at 3AM, I gave up and finally went to sleep. I slept right through my alarm the next morning and didn't open my eyes until 10:30! I ended up not going to work, which is especially bad because I only started at this place a couple months ago and I can't afford to burn bridges there.
I worked on my pieces during the day and evening on Monday but could not get them polished enough to submit. I stayed up late again but I dragged my ass to work on Tuesday because I had fucked up on Monday.
Left work early on Tuesday and went home to work. I stayed up till 3:30AM but I did get the damn stories in. Finally! Then I collapsed and tried to get three hours of sleep before I had to get up for work.
I didn't sleep through my alarm Wednesday morning but I did decide to blow off work - without telling anyone - which is particularly bad. Later in the day I e-mailed my boss that my son had a biking accident and I was in the ER with him.
I spent most of the day in bed asleep. I watched a little TV and basically felt drained and listless. I wanted to write - get moving on one of my other half started projects - but I was completely worthless.
I'm glad I got the stories in but I feel like everything else around me became such a disaster I'm wondering if it was worth it. I want to be a writer but I have to do that while staying on top of everything else.
Tomorrow I should go to work but I've already taken the day off to visit a friend.
This may seem out of place but I feel very alone this week. Unsupported. I wish I had someone to lean on while I tried to make this transition.
- As I re-read the above I see how scattered I sound. It's exactly how I feel.
